When you have decided to marry to one you love, the last thing either of you want to think about is divorce. In fact, budding feelings of love can make one feel as if it would never be possible for their marriage to fail. The truth is, over 50% of marriages in the United States do fail, and most couples have no plan to untangle the assets and debts that have been intertwined during the marriage. A marriage is a legally recognized union of two people, much like that of a business partnership. While you should never begin a business partnership without a partnership agreement, you should not go into a marriage without a prenuptial agreement.
If you read our previous blog on prenuptial agreements, then you know that this type of document can be a complex, but beneficial, tool that helps soon-to-be spouses prepare for future events. As useful as they may be, there is no denying that bringing up the matter of prenuptial agreements to your fiancé is perhaps the hardest part of the process. Mentioning it too casually can come across as being blasé about the marriage but being extremely serious about it can also be overly intimidating. Here’s some tips on how to make this discussion easier for both of you.
Create a Comfortable Setting
Discussing a prenuptial agreement over a cup of coffee at McDonald’s is probably not an ideal choice for many people. When speaking to your fiancé about considering a premarital agreement, the best place to do it is at a location where you will both be comfortable for an extended period of uninterrupted time. Such places can include your own home or a secluded park that you both visit often. The choice of location is up to you, but it should be a place that enables you and your fiancé to have an honest, uninterrupted discussion.
Be Open and Communicative
By its very nature, a prenuptial agreement requires both partners to be honest about what they expect from each other if the premarital agreement is executed, such as divorce or separation. Thus, it is imperative that this honesty is fostered at the very beginning of this process.
One way to create an honest and low-stress atmosphere is by beginning as early as possible. No one wants to be discussing the logistics of a prenuptial agreement three days before their wedding day. By being considerate to your fiancé (as well as yourself) and starting this discussion early, any tension and anxiety that may exist would be significantly lessened, since time is less of a factor.
Another way is to create a written list of reasons for why you want a prenuptial agreement or think one may be a good idea. It can be easy to lose your train of thought when having such a serious discussion like this. Organizing your thoughts prior to discussing prenuptial agreements with your partner will enable you to keep your opinions and feelings consistent and remind you why you’re having this conversation in the first place. Additionally, if you feel it would be helpful, you could exchange lists with your fiancé prior to your discussion, so that you both come into the meeting knowing more about what the other person thinks.
Encourage Cooperation
The creation of a prenuptial agreement requires two minds. Writing it yourself first and giving it to your fiancé later can send a bad impression. Even if this act is done with good intentions, such as wanting to relieve your partner of the burden, it can still appear that you are trying to take advantage of your fiancé. You can always ask Hendry & Parker P.A.
The only way to avoid this is to make the agreement a two-person effort. Making it clear that you want to work together with your fiancé to create this document will help continue fostering an honest and comfortable atmosphere that will lay the foundation for your marriage.
Creating a premarital agreement that both you and your fiancé agree on is a great step forward for your marriage. However, since a premarital agreement is a legal document, it is wise to consult a seasoned family law attorney to have a professional translate your desires into the proper legal language. Call the attorneys at Hendry & Parker, P.A., located in Dunedin, at (727) 205-5555 today for a free consultation.